Live Like We're Dying
by SpySkater
Summary: Buffy and Faith living life according to The Script. Random moments in the life of The Slayers after the Battle of the Hellmouth. Post season 7. Involves some of Faith's history mentioned in Go Ask Malice. Not always in chronological order.
1. Walk Away

She should've known when the dreams began that something bad was going to happen. They always did. Wherever Alex showed up, trouble was bound to follow. Or maybe that was just if Faith was there in general. But things had been going great this past month. Why was this happening now? She thought Alex only showed up when Faith was feeling alone. That certainly wasn't the problem now. Faith was rarely alone, not physically, emotionally, or mentally. She had the Scooby crew since the destruction of Sunnydale.

Most of all, she had Buffy, though she wasn't sure why the blonde Slayer hadn't walked away, yet. Faith had only brought her trouble since the day they met. If Buffy Summers was looking for Heaven, it sure as hell wasn't Faith Lehane, but if the Chosen One didn't plan to leave now, the Dark Slayer would never let her go no matter how bad things got.

Faith ran her fingers into waves of dark brown hair, staring into the mirror. Her eyes felt heavy with exhaustion and she looked like she hadn't slept in days. She kind of hadn't. The nightmares were recurring, especially the last week or so. They were all so simple. They weren't like the last ones that had involved Alex. Those had been real, had told a true story, almost like a biopic in her head. These ones were just her and the small girl, arguing. Alex constantly yelling.

Faith glanced to the side of the mirror, catching sight of that blue _Wizard of Oz_ dress with its white apron and a pair of Mary Janes. Faith groaned as if she were ill, gripping the sink tightly. She had to be hallucinating. Why did this crap happen to her? Why hadn't Buffy been the one haunted by Artemia or an imaginary friend? Oh, that's right. She wasn't as fucked up as the Dark Slayer. Faith had had so many negative things happen in her life which had caused quite a few mistakes on her part. She had had no family to comfort and nurture her. The complete opposite had happened to Buffy as she matured in life. That's why Artemia had possessed Faith and not Buffy. Buffy didn't have the same anger and rage Faith did.

"You're replacing me," the child behind her complained. Faith groaned, despising this whole situation. This had been the argument in her dreams. How much more could she take of this?

"I'm not replacing you, Alex. You're an imaginary friend, remember? Whether Killian – Kenny – K – whatever brought you out of my dreams or not, you are imaginary and you have not been in my life for the past five years," Faith said sternly, slowly. She looked back at her. "Buffy is real and is certainly much more than a friend. I can't replace the imaginary with what's real especially when the relationships are completely different."

"You like her more," Alex whined. Faith made a mental note never to have children. She'd tell Buffy later.

Faith turned completely around, leaning back against the counter. Her hands gripped it a bit more loosely this time.

"Alex, you have to understand, first off, I'm twenty-three years-old. I'm too old for an imaginary friend. Second off, Buffy is my girlfriend. I like her better than a bunch of people. In fact, I like her better than everyone. I'm supposed to. Third off, you are my former imaginary friend and I do love you. You're more family than my own parents were. You were there when I was all alone and needed a friend. I appreciate that. But like I said, I'm an adult. It's time I grow up."

Wait a minute? Was she talking to an imaginary friend? Okay, this was out of control. Sure, she had done it when she was about seventeen or eighteen, but now was the time to stop. There was no way Alex was here. In fact, she wasn't even sure this was the same Alex from five years ago. Maybe it wasn't even the one from her childhood. Now she was confusing herself.

"It's not _fair_!" Alex exclaimed, stomping her foot. Faith waved a hand nonchalantly, pushing herself off of the sink. She walked past the child, going to the door.

"Yeah, yeah," Faith murmured. Her headache was growing. She opened the door that led to the bedroom she now shared with Buffy. This was only a temporary living arrangement for the master Slayers. Giles had this nutso idea of starting up a Slayer Academy of sorts. Faith supposed it made sense, but couldn't she and Buffy take a break? Buffy had been at this for seven, almost eight years. Faith had been doing this for almost six years with a few extracurricular activities to go with it. Buffy always said that they needed to be the ones to teach the girls to survive, though. But anyway, Cleveland was only one location they were setting up in. They had four more in mind at the moment: Italy, Japan, New York, and Scotland. The main Scooby crew would be going to Scotland.

As Faith entered the bedroom from their bathroom, her blonde lover entered from the hallway. She looked tired and rundown. Long night of slaying could do that to a girl, especially when you had to teach at the same time.

"Thanks for your help out there," Buffy said sarcastically, taking off her jacket. Her arms were sore and she paused, wincing for a moment, before finishing the job and tossing the jacket onto their bed. She'd feel better in the morning. Slayer healing was a godsend.

Faith looked at her, confused for a moment.

"Wha-" She checked the clock, reading the glowing green 3:00. Had she really been in the bathroom that long? She could've sworn she spent fifteen minutes in there. It was midnight when she'd gone in to get rid of her headache. Her eyes returned to Buffy, apology clear in her eyes. "B, I am _so_ sorry. I had this massive headache. I didn't realize three hours had gone by."

"How do you not realize three hours has gone by? That's a pretty long lapse of time, Faith."

Faith winced a bit. The anger and irritation was still clear in Buffy's voice. She knew now that it was going to be one of _those_ nights. The night where one of them was hot tempered and an argument over absolutely nothing was inevitable. Faith knew she should have walked away right then. She sighed, blinking, before she planned to tell Buffy she was leaving the room for a while.

When she opened them again, her back was to the door leading to the hallway. The room was a bit trashed, a few pictures scattered to the ground. It hadn't been that way a few seconds ago, but on other nights, it usually meant the fight was becoming volatile. But Faith always had to wonder what screaming and trashing a room really dissolved, but the thought never changed her behavior.

Buffy was standing a few inches away, Faith's hand raised in preparation to hit her.

The Dark Slayer released a stunned breath, her eyes moving toward her hand. She felt her face relax from a look of rage to one of absolute worry. Buffy looked stunned, angry, and prepared to fight back if necessary.

Faith backed away from Buffy slowly, hand lowering. This couldn't be happening again. What the hell was going on? She hadn't had a blackout like this since she was seventeen.

She turned to the door and opened it, leaving the room, leaving the house, leaving Cleveland. There was only one place that had the answer to her question, the only place she'd ever sworn never to return.


	2. If You Ever Come Back

She drummed her manicured fingers on the dining room table, biting her lip anxiously. Three weeks. Three weeks since Faith had left the house and she still hadn't returned. Buffy, when not busy planning with Giles during the day, had spent most of her time searching the greater Cleveland area for her absentee girlfriend. And she'd spent every night since her disappearance waiting at the dining room table.

Buffy found it difficult to explain why Faith had left when Willow questioned her (the redhead was the only one she'd answer to). It had started out about Faith totally ditching patrol, which, Buffy now admitted, had been a stupid thing to be angry over. But she and Faith had ridiculous arguments like that all of the time and, as violent and passionate as those fights were, they also led into much better, more pleasurable activities. But the argument suddenly got serious. Faith had insulted the relationship they had going. More than that, she had affronted Buffy's role in it.

The blonde Slayer was obviously hurt by Faith's rash statements, but wouldn't calm down and show vulnerability. That just wasn't the way the Chosen Two fought. So, she defended herself recklessly, not caring how her words would affect her girlfriend. The fight escalated to the point of tossing pictures off their walls and dressers. But Buffy never thought that Faith would be pushed to threaten to hit her. Sure, Buffy had hit her when Faith had returned to Sunnydale several weeks ago and Faith hadn't returned the favor, but this could now be considered domestic violence.

But the senior Slayer noticed a flicker in Faith's eyes. It was almost as if she was coming to, waking up from one of their riddled Slayer dreams. Her eyes didn't seem so dark and angry. In fact, she looked like a lost puppy or a small child who had just been scolded. And then she left.

Willow had passed a general outline of the story to Giles, Xander, Dawn, and Kennedy. Since then, various versions of it had been passed around the house of new Slayers, but, otherwise, no one was completely certain of what had happened. Although, everyone could sense the Slayer's despair since the disappearance of her other half.

It wasn't too difficult to figure out. Buffy spent most days searching for her, even while patrolling. She had only slept an hour per night despite Willow and Giles' admonishments and she always slept on Faith's side of the bed, the left side. Willow thought that would drive her mad, but she left her alone on that front. None of Faith's things had been moved from their place; no one sat at Faith's usual seat at the dinner table which was across from Buffy, but the place was always set despite her not being home. Buffy's insistence. When she did go to bed, she left the living room and hall light on for the runaway girl. There was also a spare key under the doormat, seeing as Faith had left everything she owned. Even her motorcycle was still in the driveway, a constant reminder for Buffy of the Rogue Slayer.

There were other things Buffy did as well. She thought of ways she could've prevented Faith from leaving at random times in the day, wishing she could turn back time. She wished that Faith had hit her. She knew she could handle that. It would've been less painful.

"Buffy, you should really get some sleep," Willow suggested just like she did every night. She leaned against the archway, the entry to the dining room. It reminded all of the Scoobies of Buffy's home in Sunnydale.

Kennedy's footsteps could be heard going up the stairs. The couple stayed up with Buffy for as long as they could every night before going to get some shut eye. Willow had taken a liking to Faith. Sure, they weren't the best of friends, but they didn't hate each other anymore after the whole Angel/Angelus ordeal a few months back. Not to mention, Faith made Buffy happy and that's all Willow could ask for. Kennedy was almost as worried about Faith as Buffy. Faith was the first person besides Willow to befriend her and not think she was a spoiled brat. Although most of the new Slayers looked up to Buffy, Kennedy found her hero in Faith.

Buffy lifted her head from its resting place on her clasped hands. She looked back at Willow with a forced smile, a small one at that. She shook her head gently. This had become a nightly routine for the best friends. Willow already knew what Buffy was going to say.

"No, it's okay. You go on up. I'll be there in a second."

Both girls knew the last statement to be false. Buffy would be down here until 7 and that was in another four hours. The redhead sighed and nodded, heading up the stairs, disappearing behind the dining room wall. Buffy watched her disappear before placing her chin back on her hands. She bit her lip in anticipation.

She didn't know where Faith could have gone. She tried several options in her head. Her first guess had been Angel in Los Angeles, but he had told her he'd had no contact with her since they'd settled in Cleveland. He would keep an eye out for the Slayer, though. She had no other ideas, though. Faith was still kind of a mystery to her. From what Buffy knew, Faith kept to the Scoobies and new Slayers just as much as the rest of them did. None of them really had friends out here except one another. Buffy spent almost every waking moment with Faith, so if she had made a new friend while out here, the blonde would have known.

Buffy glanced at the clock on the wall, realizing she'd lost track of the hour. How long had she been rationalizing the same ideas in her head that had been there every day for three weeks? An hour and a half. It was now 4:30 in the morning. She sighed, picking up her cup of tea. Giles always said it would help her relax. These past few weeks it hadn't been as effective as it often was on the Chosen One.

She heard the sound of clicking and turned her head to look into the living room. It was almost frightening how much this place reminded her of the house in Sunnydale. The front door opened and in stepped the Dark Slayer, a backpack hanging over her left shoulder, as she began taking off her relatively new denim jacket.

Buffy had never moved so swiftly in her life. Not even to stake a vampire.

Her arms wrapped tightly around the brunette's neck, holding her close. Faith couldn't hold back a smile, dropping her backpack and freshly removed jacket, as she wrapped her arms around the girl's waist. She felt the tears of the blonde Slayer seep through the fabric of her shirt, but Faith didn't mind. She was just happy to be home again.

Home. What a strange thought.

"Where'd you go?" Buffy murmured. Faith ran a hand through the shorter girl's blonde waves.

"I went to Boston. I had to go back for a while," Faith explained vaguely.

"Why?"

Faith sighed. She knew one day she'd have to tell Buffy more about her past. Faith knew a lot about hers. All Buffy knew were the names of her dickwad exes. That was no fair to her.

"I had more problems than you can imagine before I came to Sunnydale. And I'll tell you all about it another time." Faith pulled back a bit, but not out of Buffy's grip. She lifted the shorter Slayer's head, placing two fingers under her chin. He noted the exhaustion in the green eyes she'd often found herself lost in. They were a bit bloodshot and small bags were developing under Buffy's eyes. "For now, you need to get some sleep." She kissed her softly before picking up her backpack and directing Buffy towards the stairs.

**Author's Note: So, I have decided to make this story longer. It was originally meant to be these two chapters, but I like Buffy and Faith and The Script so much, I wanna continue. Plus, I came up with more ideas to go with songs. I already have the next chapter written and am working on finishing Chapter 4. Yay! **

**I also recommend listening to these songs. The chapters are written to go with them and include lyrics from them that have been slightly modified to fit the story. Enjoy! The first chapter song is Walk Away (Featuring B.O.B.). This one is If You Ever Come Back. I name the chapters after the songs.**


	3. You Won't Feel a Thing

**OOC: Okay, seriously, there's just a lot of regurgitated story from Go Ask Malice, but hey, there's still a bit of fun.**

Faith would have seriously preferred only telling this story to only Buffy. But no. The whole Scooby crew had to sit back and listen as if this was story time in a kindergarten class. Buffy could see Faith's discomfort, but the rest of the gang seemed much too interested to really care. Luckily, they'd told the Potentials to leave, distracting them with some idea of a fun activity. Dawn and Kennedy had stayed, though. Faith didn't mind Kennedy so much, but Dawn was a bit complicated. She barely had the younger girl's approval to date her older sister. This story could rip that away from the Dark Slayer.

Giles was standing by the mantelpiece, leaning against it, arms folded over his chest. Xander was sitting on the foot rest of the chair Willow and Kennedy were situated in. Dawn was on the couch next to Buffy while Faith leaned against the archway that led to the small foyer.

"So, where to begin," Faith said, breaking the silence, wringing her hands together. Her eyes were focused on the foyer, on the door as if she planned to run again. "I, um, was neglected as a kid. Thought my dad was dead until I was about eighteen. Mom was a drunk with horrible taste in men. You know, the type of woman who accepts mistreatment, because they don't know there's something else out there." Faith scoffed, but Buffy could tell that she obviously cared whether she wanted to or not.

"Got so bad that they had me go to a social worker. V." Faith looked at Buffy with a smile. "Her name was Vanity, but I couldn't bear to call her that, so I shortened it to V." The blonde looked down at her lap shyly, realizing that Faith had mentioned this as an explanation of how she'd begun shortening people's names to just a letter. "Anyway, she had me write in this journal – "

"Wait, you had a diary?" Xander intruded, holding up his hands to show that he was interrupting. Faith shot him a look. Buffy interpreted it as offense.

"Hey,_ journal_. Clear difference." Faith pointed at Xander. The blonde Slayer resisted a laugh, unlike her best guy friend, finding Faith's reaction immensely adorable. It reminded her of a small child defending themselves, the first thought being a little boy saying, "It's an action figure, not a doll." She could imagine Faith saying something along those lines.

"Anyway," Faith continued, "I wrote in it for about six months."

"And where is this journal by chance?" Giles asked. The Dark Slayer glanced at him out of the corner of her eye before her gaze fell to the hardwood floor.

"Gone down with the wreckage."

The gang nodded in understanding. It had vanished with the rest of Sunnydale. That was the last of that.

"I started having these strange dreams. I didn't know what they were." She shrugged. "But it was the same every night. I was running through a graveyard and something was chasing me, something huge, and when I got to the gate, it overtook me. I would wake up screaming." She sighed, anticipating the laughter to come. "Then one night, my imaginary friend from when I was a kid showed up in the dream."

A snort escaped Dawn as Faith expected.

"Wait, you had an imaginary friend?" Dawn asked. "Faith 'the Rogue Slayer' Lehane had an imaginary friend?"

Faith looked at Buffy who was biting her lip to resist a laugh, but the smile was obviously there. The brunette shrugged, her hand coming down to slap her thigh.

"Laugh it up. I was five when I created her and I moved around a lot and wasn't really allowed out," Faith explained, remembering the scars just beneath her rear end. The others let out a few giggles except Giles who was starting to see this misunderstood girl in a whole new light.

"What was her name?" Buffy asked with a smile. Her girlfriend looked into her eyes, biting her lip before answering.

"Alex," she said almost as if she were afraid the girl would appear in the room again. Buffy's smile faded, recognizing the name.

"You used to say that name in your sleep before you left," the blonde said, causing the laughter to subside. Faith nodded.

"I used to black out," she continued, looking at Buffy as if she were the only one in the room. "There would be times where I would get so pissed off that I would black out and the next thing I knew, I was somewhere else and I had caused a lot of damage. Finch may have been the first man I killed, but I'd come close to murdering people before him."

The Scoobies were silent, not sure how to react to that revelation. How would that have affected their relationship with her five years ago? Would they have been more understanding of her behavior? Or would they have avoided her from day one?

"I saw my mom – " Faith stopped. That was not something she was ready to admit. "The dreams were a warning. Alex helped me out of the graveyard and then we were chased by Maenads." Giles' head cocked up with intrigue. He'd never heard Faith sound so informed about the supernatural world.

"What's a Maenad?" Buffy asked. It was rare for her girlfriend to know more about demons than she did. Buffy had Giles drilling this information into her head. Faith seemed to naturally know it.

"Um, they were followers of Kakistos. Human. But just as bad as a vampire. Tore men to pieces. Made women slaves to Kakistos, Maenads like them, or just tore 'em up. Meanwhile, in the real world, I was suspended and then expelled from school for beating the shit out of some jocks that were beating up my best friend. I blacked out then, too. Never saw Tommy again. He called me a monster after I saved his ass." She paused, trying to remember the circumstances of her life at that time. She had tried to block most of it since then, since the beginning of her quest for redemption.

"I was put in a foster home, because my mom was arrested for doing something stupid… again. Long story short, they had their vampire son up in the attic. I didn't know vampires existed, tried to rescue him, he bit me," Faith removed the hair from the left side of her neck. Buffy closed her eyes for a moment, remembering the scar she had kissed over so many times before. "I slayed him. My first vampire kill. I've never been so thankful for sunlight in my life. Me and one of the other foster girls ran, stayed at her friend's place. I never went back to school. That's how I dropped out for those of you who have been wondering. It wasn't that I couldn't take it; I just never returned.

"I moved out of the apartment, because, well," she paused, trying to find the right words, "well, because my ex is a fucking klepto." Buffy's eyes widened. She remembered hearing something about a kleptomaniac ex-boyfriend, but now that she was Faith's current, she wasn't exactly happy about hearing about her romantic history. "Went to find my mom's boyfriend, blacked out during that time, woke up in an asylum. So, yeah, for those of you who have thought of putting me in a mental asylum, been there, done that." She chuckled mirthlessly. Willow and Xander both looked guilty of having previously had such a thought. "I lost Alex in my dreams at that point and met Kakistos for the first time. And he imprisoned me. Eventually, I figured out it wasn't me in the dream. It was a former Slayer."

"Did you see any other Slayers?" Giles asked. Faith looked at him and shook her head.

"Nope. Just this one. She was tortured and branded." Faith said the last sentence with a hint of rage. Buffy could hear it. It was almost as if it had actually happened to her. But to Faith, it had.

The Rogue Slayer lifted the sleeve of her right arm, revealing her tattoo.

"This tattoo has a lot more meaning than you would believe. This is _his_ sign, Kakistos'. The Maenads wore it and he branded it onto his slaves as a way to break them."

"And you tattooed it on your arm?" Buffy asked incredulously.

"I'll explain. In the asylum, I met a guy named Killian – Kenny, ugh! He was the drummer in my favorite band and he had this ability; he developed tulpas." She noted the look on Buffy's face and, before the blonde could ask, said, "Living representations of powerful memories, thoughts, or obsessions. He basically took Alex from my imagination and me and him could see her as if she were one of you. Alex warned me that something was coming for me to get revenge on Kakistos. The Slayer from my dreams. She was the mother of Alex."

"Wait," Buffy said. "Alex was real?"

Faith nodded.

"Apparently so. Her mother, Artemia, was a Greek Slayer. Kakistos kidnapped her, killed Alex, imprisoned the Slayer until she died in that cell. A vengeance demon happened to be in the cell next to her. Artemia wished to one day come back and have vengeance for what Kakistos did."

"She chose you," Buffy finished. Faith smiled sadly and nodded. "But why you? You weren't even a Slayer yet. Why not me? Or Kendra?"

"You have too much control," Faith said immediately as if she'd thought about this, as if she'd known Buffy would ask. "You're not angry enough. You don't have enough problems." Faith paused again, debating with herself. "I was released from the asylum by my Watcher, Professor Dormer. V sent her a letter after my mother's death and told her that," she closed her eyes, preventing the tears she felt burning, "I have a dissociative problem, that I may never be a fully functional individual." Faith opened her eyes again, the recitation of that one sentence killing her inside. "That's why Artemia chose me.

'"Things got worse when I was called up. She used to write in my journal. I wrote 'Who are you?' once and she actually replied back on the line after mine. She wrote entries that I never remember writing. One day, I went into my bathroom and there was the tattoo. She used to talk to me through my reflection and she told me that the tattoo would ensure that Kakistos would come find me."

"So, she was possessing you from beyond the grave," Willow said.

"All because of a wish. Luckily for me, Professor Dormer figured it out, but not before I got my ass kicked by twelve vamps."

"Twelve? Had you – "

"Before you finish that question, B, technically, yeah, I had lost my mind. Artemia went to fight Kakistos. We had seen him in the graveyard a few nights before. My Watcher found me and took me back to the house and realized what was wrong with me. She and Kenny stopped the possessions for what I thought was once and for all. From there, you know the rest of the story. Kakistos killed my Watcher in front of my eyes, I slashed his face, and I ran. I'm one messed up puppy. Even before all the crap in Sunnydale went down."

The silence in the room was heavy. Even Buffy found herself speechless. The story had certainly filled in some blanks about Faith, but that was only the supernatural part of her life. What about the more personal things? Buffy was curious about that, but she assumed Faith didn't want to tell that part of her life in front of the others.

"So, you blacked out that night?" Buffy finally said, breaking the silence. "Artemia possessed you."

"Yeah. I don't remember anything we argued about that night, B. But it wasn't Artemia who possessed me. It was Alex to keep that story short." Buffy quirked an eyebrow. Faith chuckled. "She was jealous of you. That my main focus has been you for the past five years." The Scooby crew all found a spot to stare at other than the Slayer couple which Buffy and Faith were appreciative of. Buffy could feel herself blushing and Faith just wasn't used to such verbal PDAs.

"What was in Boston?" Buffy asked. Faith was happy to have a topic change, happy that nothing lingered on her most recent confession.

"Professor Dormer's collection. I stopped by her house. Her stuff is shockingly still there. I went to research how to get rid of Alex. Went to find Kenny who seemed to be doing pretty well. We did a spell. Poof. All cured."

"Well, that's good to hear," Giles said, cleaning his glasses with the bottom of his sweater. He placed the glasses back on the bridge of his nose. Faith prevented herself from laughing, remembering Dormer's story about the Giles family. "If you don't mind, I'd like to question you more on this."

Faith shrugged nonchalantly.

"Five by five."

"Good. Good," Giles said, exiting the room.

"Well, Faith, it's good to hear you're not so psycho anymore," Xander said, standing up and clasping his hands together. The Dark Slayer chuckled, shaking her head. Xander headed toward the kitchen, but not before patting Faith on the shoulder.

"Willow, Kennedy, will you make sure the Potentials aren't destroying anything they're not supposed to?" Buffy requested, but her eyes were clearly on the Slayer standing across from her.

Willow and Kennedy both looked at one another before managing to get up from their comfortable position in the chair.

"No problem, Buffy. Movie night tonight, right?" Willow said. Buffy nodded, still not acknowledging the other couple completely. "Great!" Willow led Kennedy out of the room by the hand. Kennedy shook her head in amusement.

Dawn looked back and forth between the Slayers. She looked down at her lap before getting up in a preppy fashion. She was still uncomfortable being in the same room as her sister and her new love interest. There were times where she wondered what their mom would have thought.

"Well, I'm gonna go study for my driver's test. Don't wanna be as bad as Buffy," Dawn said before passing Faith to race up the stairs. The brunette Slayer laughed, finding nearly any joke about Buffy's horrific driving skills funny.

"Hey!" Buffy exclaimed, obviously offended.

"It's true, babe," Faith said, going to sit next to her.

"Yeah, well, no need to comment on it." Faith's laugh grew. Buffy slapped her playfully on the arm. "So, all good now?"

"Absolutely."

"I didn't know you'd gone through so much," the blonde Slayer said in close to a whisper. She caressed Faith's arm, right over Kakistos' mark that would forever remain on her arm. Faith considered it a battle scar.

The brunette moved closer to her.

"It's not a big deal. Just think of it as my Slayer initiation."

"I won't let anything like that happen to you again." Buffy finally made eye contact with her. Faith shook her head, chuckling humorlessly. "I can protect you."

"Buffy, all of that stuff, I could do it all again. I've done it before. I've been kicked down, spat on, lied to, beat up, robbed, left for dead all for the way I look or act or for who I am. I don't need your protection from that. But you need it. And if that ever happens, you'll never have to feel a thing, not like I did. I'll take the blow for you, B."

"Faith – "

"Don't argue with me," Faith demanded, leaning in to kiss her. Buffy let her, placing a hand on her neck over the bite scar. "You wanna know the best part about that whole ordeal?"

"What?" Buffy whispered back.

"I met you for the first time." The blonde arched an eyebrow in confusion. Faith smiled. "When I was called, I saw you die in a dream. I was you. When you drowned."

"I'm here now," Buffy replied, nuzzling her nose against Faith. She hadn't noticed that she was now pressed against the arm of the couch, Faith practically on top of her.

"You are. I can't imagine what life would be like if you hadn't come back. I don't know where I would've gone. Before Professor Dormer died, she told me about you. And when I left Boston, I knew I had to come to you. I guess our Slayer connection was working way ahead of us."

"There must be a reason why we're the only two who share it this strongly."

"I think this is it."

Faith leaned down to kiss her, ending their conversation.


	4. Long Gone and Moved On

Buffy exited the bedroom, eyebrows knitted together in confusion. It was ten in the morning and Faith was not in bed. Buffy was usually awakened by the hustle and bustle of the Potentials and her friends outside of her room. Faith was a much heavier sleeper and tried to sleep until noon. She wasn't much of a morning person, but the night certainly embraced her.

The blonde jogged down the stairs, going to the dining room where a group of Potentials, including Kennedy, were sitting for breakfast. She could hear a group of them out in the back practicing combat. A few could be seen in the living room, studying a variety of magic, demon, and history books with Dawn. Willow was cooking and conversing with Xander and Giles. And Andrew, as always, was stalking the crew with a video camera. She heard him mention her entrance in the room, but she simply ignored it.

Where was Faith?

"Um, where's Faith?" Buffy asked, primarily directing her question to Kennedy. The young Latina looked up at the blonde. She seemed almost hesitant; Buffy could see it in her eyes with a blend of shock and maybe a bit of fear. Strange. Kennedy wasn't known to fear.

After a strangled moment, Kennedy pointed to the large living room window which had a view of the porch.

"Thank you," Buffy said, walking to the door. She reached for the knob, but paused, hearing voices outside.

"Dude, we ended five years ago. You remember, Kenny? I caught you in bed with your _ex_," Faith's voice said in an urgent, irritated whisper.

Outside, Faith's arms were folded over her chest, black tattoo exposed vibrantly on her right arm. She tapped the fingers of that hand on her left bicep impatiently. This was a problem that she thought had ended five years ago when she caught Kenny in bed with his dead ex-girlfriend. She wasn't second best. At least, that's what she kept reminding herself. That's what Buffy told her whenever she doubted herself. Faith wouldn't be someone's second choice.

"I've gotten better, Faith. I'm serious. She's gone," Kenny pleaded in a very nonchalant way. Faith looked toward the driveway where several cars and her motorcycle rested. She looked back at Kenny when he finished speaking.

"You lost your chance. I can't necessarily say I'm sorry you did. It's not just the ex-girlfriend thing that stands in your way. I'm long gone," Faith said, lifting a hand and slicing it slowly through the air horizontally. "I moved on. From the moment I caught you in bed with her, I started changing the way I felt and realized what my reality was. I couldn't live in a fantasy like you."

"Fantasy?"

"Pretending your dead ex-girlfriend is alive? That's not a damn fantasy?"

"And being some super powered chick chosen to be the bringer of good and the destroyer of evil isn't a fantasy?"

"Kenny, you've witnessed it. That's not a fantasy. And it's not just that. It's not the only thing holding me back."

"Faith, I don't-"

The door creaked open behind Faith and she turned her head to look back, noting Kenny's change in attention. Buffy wrapped her arms around the taller girl's waist. She had heard their voices rising and decided to intrude, no matter how rude it was.

"Hey," Buffy greeted her, looking her in the eye. It was almost as if the rocker in front of them didn't exist.

"Hey," Faith replied, but without the smile.

"You alright?"

Faith nodded her response as Buffy leaned in to kiss her. Kenny's eyes widened a bit in shock.

The Dark Slayer looked at her ex and sighed softly. She gestured to the girl behind her.

"Kenny, this is Buffy. She's the Slayer. She was called before me. Buffy, this is Kenny, the drummer I told you about," Faith introduced. She glanced at the porch as the two greeted one another. Kenny looked back and forth between the two.

"I thought you didn't-"

"I don't," Faith interrupted. "Just Buffy. Special connection."

"'Special connection'?" Kenny repeated as if it was some lame excuse, but Faith looked absolutely serious.

"Yeah. Slayer thing. Don't ask for details. We don't fully understand it, yet. We're the first to have it and G is still working on studying it," Faith explained. She lifted a hand and ran it through her tousled hair. Buffy nodded her agreement behind her. "Look, K, I've got a life now. Me going to Boston was a one-time gig. I swore never to return and I broke that to figure out what the hell was wrong with me. And I'm grateful for your help in that. It's the second time you've gotten rid of my possessions. But my life here is more than just slaying now. We're starting up a school or something for new girls and setting up squadrons and shit. I'm moving to Scotland. They need me to teach and lead. At least, that's what G and B say. And," she paused, "And I have a family now."

The word family seemed to linger in the air for all three of them. They all knew that Faith Lehane had given up that concept a long time ago, before her mother's death, before meeting her father. To hear her call these people her family was a powerful thing. Emotion for the girl was a tough thing. Her labeling them as family meant that she not only was slightly fond of them, but she loved them and would genuinely protect them.

"Wow, Faith."

"Yeah. 'Wow' is right," she said, realizing how big this was as well. She looked back at Kenny after a few moments of silence. "We can hang while you're here, though, dude. Would hate for you to drive all this way and not have fun."

Kenny nodded his head slowly.

"Maybe I'll take you up on that offer. Nice to meet you, Buffy. You seem to have done a number on Faith here. Keep taking care of her," Kenny said, backing away from them and going down the porch steps. Buffy looked at Faith with a smile before looking back at Kenny.

"I will."


	5. We Cry

**Author's Note: This takes place at the very beginning of Faith and Buffy's romantic relationship. So, as you can see, this story is out of order. Enjoy**

And death seemed to cry out from the ground. Blood stained and buried beneath the dirt miles away. It was hard to believe that the night before they'd all been sharing a house together in a nearly abandoned city with only demons and vampires as their fellow citizens. Sunnydale was gone and, with it, several of their teammates, several of their friends, girls beneath the age of nineteen dead and gone. And somewhere miles away, families around the world were mourning the loss of their daughters and sisters.

This hotel mourned. They were in tears, because the world was broken. Together, they cried. The city and the rest of the world population didn't cry like they did; they didn't mourn. And they didn't know that their lives had been saved by a bunch of teenage girls.

_How unfair is that_, Faith thought, pulling her cigarette from her lips. Poking out her bottom lip a bit, she blew the smoke from her lungs. She didn't cry. Sure, she felt for the girls. She had been a mentor to them for a short time, a leader, something she'd never been to anyone before. She hadn't really known them like the rest of the gang. So, while bedroom arrangements were made, phone calls to families were made, showers were taken, food was eaten, girls were grieving, Faith sat on the roof of the Hyperion Hotel, dealing with things her own way.

She really couldn't say what was happening in the building. She knew Willow and Kennedy were comforting a grieving Xander after his loss of Anya. Faith actually felt horrible about that. Anya had actually been quite entertaining in the short time Faith had known her. She was sad to see her go. Buffy and Giles were handling the girls and their room assignments with the help of Angel and his crew. Robin was lying in one of the hotel rooms, mending.

Faith paused as she brought the cigarette to her lips. This hesitation only lasted a second, though, and she placed the stick between her lips, the moment looking almost like a jump cut in a movie. She sucked in the smoke, appreciating the soothing nature it had over her. She knew she should've been glad Robin was still alive. Hell, she was. She was shocked. But she wasn't sure if she actually wanted to give him a shot like she'd promised the day before. She didn't know what it was. Earlier, her heart had genuinely been into it. Now, though, well… She wasn't so sure anymore.

He was a good lay, don't get her wrong. He was a great guy. But there was just something tugging her heart in a different direction. She shook her head, blowing out more smoke. Now was not the time.

Faith took a deep breath of the cool, crisp air, looking at the Los Angeles horizon. Downtown was lit up brilliantly. Just this huge patch of relative darkness and then the explosion of light from the Staples Center and other downtown buildings. She was pretty sure there was some concert or game going on there, because the spotlights were shown in the air, crossing, twirling, and such. At least somewhere, people were actually happy and not dealing with this crap.

She heard the roof door open with a sharp creaking. Faith didn't bother to look back, feeling a buzz run over her body almost like adrenaline kicking in. She had been a bit tired before, but the arrival of the other Slayer made her wake up, her senses jump starting.

Buffy sat next to Faith on the roof, pulling her knees to her chest so she could rest her chin on them. She glanced down at Faith, who was practically lying on the roof. The cigarette was placed back between the brunette's blood-stained lips. A scab was hardening on the right side of Faith's bottom lip. A cut was above her left eyebrow.

The two Slayers were silent for a long while. Finally, when Faith stamped out her first cigarette, pulled out a second and lit it, Buffy took it from between her lips and flicked it over the edge of the roof. Faith watched it fly over the ledge and fall until it disappeared shortly after behind the building. She gave the blonde a look.

"We already lost girls today, friends. We don't need to lose you, too," Buffy said monotonously, her eyes focused on the lights of the convention center that brightened up those beautiful green eyes. They had lost some of their life, but a glimmer remained for the victory they'd had.

"'We'? Or do you mean you?" Faith said with a playful smirk. She figured she shouldn't change, deaths or not. Buffy shook her head with a sigh. That was the reaction she had expected, but she had also anticipated some smart aleck reply. That wasn't what she got.

"Don't joke, Faith. This is serious," the blonde said. This time Faith sensed her pain. They went silent again, looking over the Los Angeles area. Finally, "God." The brunette looked at her, wondering if there was a conclusion to that sentence or if she had finally decided to just cry out to God or whatever Powers That Be. "I was supposed to protect them," Buffy finished. Faith sighed, sitting up.

"They knew what they were getting into, that it was war we were going into. What's ironic is that going into war was safer for them than trying to live a normal life," Faith tried to comfort. That was the truth to Faith. That was what she had witnessed in her time back. Those girls were being hunted and Buffy had been their best chance at survival. War had been their best chance. "Most of them made it, Buffy. You should be proud of that."

Buffy stood up, the gravel beneath her feet grinding under her feet. Faith's green-tinted brown eyes followed her. The blonde placed her face in her hands, trying to gain control of her emotions. She'd been doing so well these last few hours, since they'd headed off from the outskirts of the now buried Sunnydale. She'd been in control. Now, she felt herself cracking beneath the heavy pressure of being strong, kind of like Atlas holding the world on his shoulders.

"They're gone, Faith! I had to call their parents and tell them that we lost them! Their families will never be able to bury them! They're gone!" Buffy broke. Faith stood up. She attempted to grab the girl's shoulders, but Buffy moved away from her immediately, going towards the door. Faith knew she wasn't leaving, though. She wouldn't want anyone to see her in this state. Even Faith seeing her like this was crossing a line.

Buffy leaned against the wall next to the door. She was sobbing softly, but they sounded loud to Faith, the silence enhancing her Slayer hearing even more.

"Spike sacrificed himself for us! He's gone and I-" She stopped there, not wanting to discuss the final words they'd said to one another. Spike had been right.

Faith hesitated, but finally decided to approach her. The brunette could feel her own tears coming, feeling the other Slayer's hurt take over her, the remorse flooding Faith's thoughts. She gently moved Buffy's hands from her eyes and placed her hands on the blonde's cheeks. She wiped the tears away with her thumbs. Buffy looked her in the eye, which Faith found uncomfortable. She'd never been particularly fond of eye contact especially with this girl in particular. She was now remembering why.

That feeling from four years ago was returning. It was as if the buzz running through her body was more like a restless vibration and she wondered if she was actually shaking and if Buffy coul feel it. There was a low hum in her ears and it seemed to be getting louder the longer they stared at one another. It drove her mad. The night air seemed to heat up and she was pretty sure it wasn't because she was in Southern California. She was tempted to remove her denim jacket, but it would ruin the moment.

Buffy felt the sudden tension between them. Her sobs stopped, but the tears continued to spill. The war wasn't forgotten. The dead were remembered. The sadness ate at her. And she needed something to make her feel alive again, because the truth was, she'd been dead since Annabelle, one of the first Potentials in her care, was murdered.

Her lips overcame Faith's, her fingers latching onto the denim collar of the brunette's jacket. She could taste the dried blood on the other girl's lips. It was different than kissing Angel or Spike, even Riley. Angel and Spike had been cold and, as amazing as it had been, that was something she couldn't ignore or forget. Riley had been gentle, his movements, his lips, everything. Faith was different. She was rough, wild, desperate, aggressive. Her lips were callous from battle and Buffy could feel the hardening scab chafing against her own lips. Shockingly, she liked it.

The humming was dead silent when Buffy's lips met hers. At first, Faith debated pulling away, but after feeling the swift, forceful movement of Buffy's soft lips, she gave into the blonde Slayer. Her lips tasted salty from the tears she was crying. Their tears mingled together for a moment. The buzzing that coursed through Faith increased again, making her desperate to feel. But she managed to pull herself away.

"B, I think-"

"Shut up," Buffy demanded, drawing Faith's lips to hers again, her hands moving around the other girl's neck. Fine. If this is what Buffy wanted, Faith would comply. The Rogue Slayer's fingers began to wander Buffy's body before pressing her harder against the wall. She pressed against her. The Slayers could feel their heartbeats reverberating against one another at a rapid pace and they moved to its rhythm, to the music, the beat their hearts provided.

Buffy nipped at Faith's bottom lip. The scab peeled away and the wound reopened, bleeding out a bit. The blonde kept drawing out the brunette's bottom lip, tasting her blood on her tongue. Although she would never admit it out loud, she could almost understand the appeal in sucking someone's blood.

She slipped her hands under the denim at Faith's shoulders and began to push it off, running her hand over the other girl's smooth skin. Their lips parted, catching their breath desperately. Faith rested her forehead against Buffy's, watching her eyes that were dark with need. Buffy's eyes were focused on the descent of Faith's jacket. She had no scratches or cuts on her arms due to having her jacket on throughout the battle, but there were bruises, some of them a deep purple color. When the jacket finally dropped, Buffy caressed a select few bruises with her thumbs. She returned her lips to Faith's, but gentler this time.

So, this is what happens when you snap and release four years of built up emotion? Faith certainly wasn't complaining as they lowered to the ground, Buffy crawling on top of her.

* * *

><p>They used their clothes as blankets and one another as a way to keep warm during the night. Blonde hair tickled the Dark Slayer's chest, but she was too tired to complain. When they opened their eyes, the sun was rising, heat overcoming them. At least this time it was from an external source.<p>

Buffy sat up first, the bright light bothering her. Faith simply covered her eyes with her arm.

"Oh, no," Buffy muttered. She stood up, quickly grabbing her clothes from the ground. She'd have to change into a new outfit later. Hadn't Willow said she'd be shopping for new clothes before the night was over? She hoped to God she had.

Faith watched her redress from the ground.

"Is this when the shame kicks in?" she asked, sitting up. Buffy glanced back at her, buttoning her jeans. When she'd accomplished the deed, she got down on her knees next to Faith. She grabbed her by the back of the neck, kissing her.

"No shame. But if the others find out-"

"For once, I'm agreeing with you." Faith grabbed the remaining clothes – her clothes – and put them back on. "Let's get inside before someone realizes we're not in our rooms." She opened the door for Buffy. The two crept inside, stealing down to the third floor. They opened the door to the floor slowly, looking out into the hall for signs of life. All was quiet.

Buffy tiptoed out, followed by her brunette companion. She reached room 330 and stopped, turning to Faith.

"Your room is 321," she informed her, digging into her jacket pocket for the key. She handed it to Faith. "That's why I came up to the roof last night. I'll see you at breakfast." The blonde stole another kiss before slipping into her room. Faith smiled quite smugly at the closed door before jogging silently to her room. She opened it and, as she did, looked around. She noticed one of the room doors opening and swore before stepping into her room. She closed the door as quietly as possible before leaning against the door and letting out a breath of relief. She turned on the light and began stripping off her clothes again, in need of a shower. She still was a mess from the day before.

She went to the bathroom and closed the door. She started the shower, turning the hot water all the way up. One thing her short stint in prison had taught her was to appreciate hot water. She stepped into the shower, the scorching water kissing her skin, but it was nothing compared to Buffy's kisses. She stood there for a moment, head directly under the water, hair soaking and dripping, watching the dried blood dilute and run down her body into the faucet.

She spent ten more minutes in the shower before getting out. She grabbed a towel from the counter of the sink and dried the ends of her hair before drying the rest of her body. Finally wrapping the towel around her, she exited the bathroom. She then asked herself what was she going to wear. Her answer rested on her untouched bed. She assumed Willow or one of the Potentials must have laid it there the night before. But that made her wonder who had a key to her room besides her.

She shook off that thought and began putting on the new clothes. When she finished, Faith left her hotel room, heading down to the lobby where she assumed everyone was eating. Her assumption was correct and she knew when she hit the second floor. She could smell breakfast food from there. What time was it anyway?

Once she grabbed a full plate that looked like it could feed two people, Faith took a seat with the Scoobies, Kennedy, and Robin. They all glanced up at her as she sat by Robin. The brunette ignored the looks, though, and dug in.

"Nice of you to join us, Faith," Giles said. "You must have slept well." The Dark Slayer shrugged, still not bothering to look up.

"Better than I have in a while," she said. She'd never mentioned that she'd been having nightmares since she murdered Deputy Mayor Allan Finch. It had gotten so bad that some nights she forced herself to black out or took medication. The only exceptions to these nightmares had been her shared dreams with Buffy. Last night had been the end of her nightmares.

"That's good," Willow said, the smile on her face apparent in her voice.

She heard a clinking across the table from her and glanced up, making eye contact with a pair of green eyes that were much brighter than they had been the night before.

"What's good?" Buffy asked, picking up her fork to eat. She kept eye contact with Faith, a small smile on her face.

"That Faith slept well," Willow answered, averting Buffy's attention from Faith. Buffy's smile grew.

"Mmm, so did I surprisingly," Buffy said. "I could totally use a shopping trip later. Like we discussed yesterday. I didn't expect to lose my entire wardrobe in this battle." Faith chuckled, regaining Buffy's attention as well as everyone else's. "What?"

"It's just, of course, you'd wanna go shopping, B," Faith explained.

"Yeah, well, you're coming along, so…" she trailed off, focusing on her food. Everyone's eyebrows raised in shock. Sure, Buffy was bold and confronted Faith on just about everything. But telling her she was going shopping, not asking if she'd like to, well, that was just beyond bold.

Faith swallowed her food.

"Really think so?" she asked, neither girl looking at one another, but, simultaneously, the Slayers lifted their heads to look at one another, challenging, yet remembering. A triumphant smirk came to Buffy's face.

"I know so."

They were both silent and the others wait tensely for Faith's response. She did the unbelievable. She shrugged and, breaking eye contact, looked down at her food again.

"We'll see." She gave a yawn, covering her mouth with a fist.

"Are you sure you slept well?" Robin asked concerned, noting the yawn. Faith nodded.

"Yeah, I'm fine." She looked up at Buffy again. "I think I may just need more _sleep_." Buffy gave no expression, but her eyes displayed acknowledgement. "In fact, I'm not all that hungry."

"Faith Lehane, not hungry?" Xander said. "After a huge battle of slayage? I've seen you eat a meal for three after fighting off one vampire. What happened to the double H's?" As he finished his line of questioning, Faith stood up, grabbing her plate. She shrugged in response to Xander.

"Still there. But like I told G back at Sunnydale, I'm down to sleep for a week. So, I'm going to go start that mission. If there's some sort of meeting as to what we're doing next, don't wake me," Faith replied.

"Hey, Faith, leave your plate. I'll take it," Kennedy spoke up. Faith chuckled and went to the end of the table, handing her the plate.

"Look at my little mini me," Faith teased. Kennedy chuckled as the older Slayer rolled her eyes, heading toward the elevator. As she walked, she gave one last look to Buffy. She knew she should have felt guilty. She had promised Robin something similar to her heart, but Buffy had held the real thing for four years, not to mention she practically owned the brunette's soul.

Faith waited five minutes at Buffy's hotel room door before the other girl arrived.

"What took you so long?" was all Faith managed to get out before Buffy's lips were against hers, arms around her neck, pulling her closer.

"I had to wait. It would have looked weird if we both left at the same time." Buffy paused. "I like your hair wet."

"Really? I just like you wet," Faith replied with a smirk. Buffy's brow arched up for a moment in a suggestive manner. She took her key from her back pocket and reached behind Faith, opening the door.

"Well, you better get to it," Buffy said before latching onto Faith's lips again. And that was the end of the conversation.

**Author's Note: Oh, and guys, give feedback or tell me some stuff you'd like to see, because I'm making this up as I go. I'd love to hear, well, read what you guys wanna read.**


	6. Fall For Anything

Faith stopped at the foot of the stairs and searched her surroundings for a particular blonde. The house was packed for the night. At least that's what she assumed. The house was crowded with girls as always and they seemed to be taking up every inch of the house. Ugh, it was suffocating. Faith hated it. She was someone who was used to being alone. Having all of these teens around… well, she needed a punching bag. But for now, finding Buffy was her top priority and she'd have to ignore that impending sense of claustrophobia.

She squeezed through the dining room where most of the girls were eating or standing around and talking. _God, why aren't they sleepin'_, she thought, managing to edge into the kitchen. Thankfully, only Willow and Xander were in here. The redheaded witch was leaning back against the sink, while pirate-looking young man was sitting at the table in the nook. Both looked exhausted. It was then that Faith noted the sound of the dishwasher. Cleaning dishes was hell in a house full of Slayers.

"Hey, guys. You know where Buffy is? We were watching a movie and she said she was coming down here to refill on popcorn. I don't think that takes a half an hour," Faith said. She leaned against the refrigerator, completing the trifecta. She crossed her arms over her chest, looking at the two. She noticed that Kennedy wasn't attached to Willow's hip either. Where were their girls tonight? Not that anyone knew Buffy _was_ her girl.

"She said there was an emergency and she had to make a run," Willow said, looking at Xander and then back at Faith with concern. The Dark Slayer sighed, glancing off to the side with a cock of her head.

"You and Buffy sure have been getting close recently…" Xander stated.

"Hmm?" Faith looked up at her eye-patchy friend, "Oh, yeah. Since the whole destruction of Sunnydale thing. We had a bondin' moment up on Angel's roof, so we decided to try and put things behind us, be friends." She nodded. Or something more, she thought.

"Well, that's good. I mean, if we're gonna start a whole Slayer academy, we need our two star Slayers to be buddy buddy," Willow said, shrugging. Faith smirked.

"Buddy buddy? Yeah," the Dark Slayer trailed off.

"How could you be so stupid?" the trio heard from the living room. Faith's ears perked up and each of the young adults looked at the other with wide eyes.

"Buffy's home," they said simultaneously. Willow and Faith pushed off their respective leaning places and Xander pushed his chair back, standing up. They shoved through the crowd of Slayers, stopping at the archway the led to the living room. Buffy was lecturing – well, shouting at – Rona, Chao-Ahn, Kennedy, and Dawn.

"All Potentials, up to your rooms!" Buffy shouted, not wanting a crowd spying on the situation at hand. Faith could see that she wasn't only in Queen Slayer mode. She was in big sister/parental mode. The eleven other Potentials all bumrushed upstairs from the dining room. Faith felt her shoulders shoved a few times, but, despite her irritation, was too curious to call the teenagers out on it.

Throughout the rush, Buffy's dangerous gaze remained on the four teenagers. Those green hues almost seemed to glow with rage. Faith was actually a bit frightened. She'd been the only person alive to ever face those eyes.

"That includes you three. I'll handle you tomorrow," Buffy deadpanned. The three Potentials looked at one another, fear apparent in their eyes. When Buffy said she'd handle a Potential later, she meant during a training session.

Rona and Chao-Ahn went upstairs, but Kennedy remained downstairs, simply walking over to Willow who gave her an inquisitive look. Kennedy didn't return her eye contact.

"Dawn, couch," Buffy ordered. The teenager immediately obliged and the blonde followed her.

"I'm gonna head upstairs," Xander whispered. "Make sure everyone's in their rooms." Faith nodded and Willow decided to go with him, hoping her girlfriend would come, too. She didn't. Instead, she and Faith leaned against a wall in the living room. Buffy was pacing in front of Dawn, tension building.

"You know what?" the older sister began, stopping her pacing. Dawn looked up at her, but knew better than to answer her. "I'm not even angry about you going to a frat party."

"Yo- You're not?" Dawn replied hesitantly. Buffy turned to her younger sister and shook her head. Even Faith had to admit she was shocked, but something more important was on her mind. She leaned in toward Kennedy.

"You took her to a frat party?" the Rogue whispered. The Latina nodded her head. "Dude, she's seventeen."

"No, I'm not angry at that. I went to a frat party with Cordelia at around that age. We were nearly sacrificed, but that's not the point. The point is I've done it. I get it," Buffy continued, making her secret lover wonder what the issue was. "My problem is that the bunch of you saw that the party was getting out of control and didn't leave. What I'm angry about is that the cops found _you_, Dawn, upstairs in some room, on a bed with some guy."

Faith's eyes widened. Little Bit did that? Really? Wow, maybe she was more grown than Faith thought. She would never expect such behavior out of Dawn. In fact, she didn't believe it. Not until she noticed Dawn avert her older sister's eyes and twiddle her fingers.

"Dawn, we've been in Cleveland for the amount of a month. Do you even know him?" Buffy waited a few moments. "No. I take that back. It doesn't matter if you know him. You're a _minor_." Faith took a step forward and grabbed Buffy's shoulders.

"Hey, let me take care of this, okay?" she whispered in Buffy's ear for neither of the younger two girls to hear. The blonde looked back at her.

"Faith, she's my sister-"

"I can handle it. I know what I'm doing. Just go to the kitchen and finish making that popcorn, okay?"

Faith could see in Buffy's idea that she was fighting the idea, but she decided to leave the situation in her girlfriend's hands. She moved out of the brunette's grips and headed toward the kitchen like Faith suggested. The younger Slayer gestured for Kennedy to vacate the room and she obeyed, going upstairs.

Dawn looked up at Faith as the older woman sat down on the coffee table in front of her.

"I understand what you're going through," Faith said softly, shocking the teenage girl.

"Y- You do?" she asked, tucking a strand of brown hair behind her ear nervously. She had never known Faith to be gentle or understanding. This was a culture shock for her.

"Yeah, I get it. You've had a hard life, Dawn. Your mom's gone. You discovered that most of your memories are fake and that you're some kinda key which I still don't understand, but whatever. And the sister that's takin' care of you, she's got to watch about ten other girls and the numbers keep growing. She also spends more time with them and has more in common with them. I get that. I felt the same way about Buffy when I first moved to Sunnydale."

Dawn's eyebrows knitted together in confusion. Faith noticed and chuckled. She nodded.

"Yeah, I know. Weird comin' from me. But I was jealous that Buffy was giving her attention to Red and Xan-Man and not me. So, I acted out. Just like you did at this party," Faith explained. "But at least you didn't kill anyone, so it's a'ight. No harm, no foul. But the guy in a random bedroom," Faith shook her head, "nah, Little Bit.

"Before I moved to Sunnydale, I slept with any guy as long as it made my pain go away. And yeah, that may be slutty, but whatever. It was me. It was how handled stuff. Whether they were good or bad in bed. It didn't matter. Get some and get gone." Faith paused, placing a hand on the younger girl's knee. "Don't be like me. Don't believe what people say. Don't be so quick to believe, because these guys will say the same things over and over again. Sex is a big deal, Dawn. Don't let them fuck with your head. Even if they say they love you, Dawn, be cautious. Love wasn't built for speed. I'm just realizing that. But you can learn that now. You got me, kid?"

Dawn stared at her for a long moment before nodding her affirmation.

"Yeah, I understand," she said in a small voice. Faith gave her a smile which Dawn hesitantly returned.

"Good. Give B a few hours. She'll be five by five by then." The older woman stood and headed out of the room. She stopped as Dawn was standing up from the couch. "Oh, and Dawnie?" She looked over her shoulder. "Find something to stand for. You gotta stand for something or you'll fall for anything."

Dawn walked over to Faith and gave her a hug. The older girl froze awkwardly. Hugs from Buffy? Used to. Hugs from anyone else? Weird. But she hugged back. Dawn could be a new addition to her list of exceptions. She was Buffy's kid sister after all.

"Thanks for understanding, Faith," Dawn murmured before pulling away from the embrace. Shrugging, Faith shoved her hands in her pockets.

"It's no biggie. Now, get up to bed. It's like 2am."

Faith leaned in the archway as Dawn ran upstairs. She released a sigh of relief. She'd never had a talk with a teenager before. And it actually went right. Go figure.

"Nicely handled," Buffy said, entering the dining room. She placed a piece of popcorn in her mouth and bit down, making it crunch loudly. The brunette chuckled, walking over to her. "No, seriously. She took you seriously."

"She's just scared of me. So, about that movie?" Faith grabbed the bag of popcorn, pulling a piece out and tossing it into her mouth.

"You mean the one we weren't really watching. What's the plot again?" Buffy replied playfully. Faith began walking backwards toward the staircase. The blonde followed.

"Like I care." The Dark Slayer grabbed her predecessor by the race, pulling the smaller girl to her. Buffy let out a soft whimper.

"Oh, yeah. Sex totally isn't a big deal. It's only the way our relationship started."

Faith chuckled at the reference to her speech.

"We're different. We'd had feelings for each other for four years," Faith explained. Buffy tsked.

"That's right. 'Love wasn't built for speed.'"

"Are you saying you love me?" Faith asked playfully.

"I didn't say that," the blonde responded, losing eye contact. Her hands slipped up the brunette's collarbone, arms wrapping around Faith's neck loosely.

"You implied it," Faith said huskily.

"Yeah, well…" Buffy trailed off, placing a kiss on Faith's lips. She wanted to end their conversation, get back to what they were doing before she'd had to pick the teenagers up from the police station. Faith had no arguments against this, returning the affection. Like what often happened, it started nice and slow, but soon morphed into something rough and desperate.

"So, the girls are all in their rooms – Oh, my God," Xander said, stopping at the top of the stairs. His eye widened and his jaw dropped.

"What's wrong?" Willow asked, stepping beside him, Kennedy behind her. Looking down at Buffy and Faith, who were separating from one another in shock, Willow brought her hand up to her heart. Kennedy laughed.

"I told you!" the Latina shouted. Faith and Buffy looked at one another, pulling out of one another's embrace. Bring a fist to her lips, Faith cleared her throat.

"Well, um, I guess we have some, uh, explain' to do."

**OOC: Okay, we're going back to a chronological timeline in Chapter 7. I just wanted to give some background to Buffy and Faith's relationships. Oh, and if you guys have any ideas for chapters, please tell me. I've got good depressing stuff, but no good happy stuff. It sucks. I don't wanna do the depressing chapters, yet.**


	7. Rusty Halo

"Mail's here!" Kennedy called, tossing the pile of letters onto the dining room table. She knew to grab her own letters before announcing that to the house, though. With twenty people living in one house, well, you had to make sure you got yours first. She also grabbed Willow's stuff before heading upstairs to the room she shared with the witch. As she reached the top stair, the thirteen other Potentials began exiting their rooms to go downstairs. Most of them were spending the day in their rooms. Downstairs in the living room were Faith and Buffy, having managed to snag the TV to watch a movie. Seeing as they were actually in a common area of the house, they kept their displays of affection to a minimum… sadly.

Buffy waited for the crowd to clear before getting up to grab the rest of the mail. Faith gave a disapproving groan. The blonde laughed at the response and slapped the younger Slayer's hand away when she tried to hold her there.

"Naughty girl," Buffy said, going to the dining room. Faith chuckled in response, turning her head to look at the elder Slayer.

"I've been here all of five seconds. You should be spending 24/7 with me," the brunette replied teasingly.

"You're the one who left me for Boston," Buffy said in a somewhat sing-song voice.

"Yeah, well," Faith began, adjusting her position. She let out something between a moan and a strained breath as her back arched from the couch, causing her lover to look back at her. "As much as I regret it, I can't say it was a mistake. It was a necessary trip."

"Babe, you have mail," Buffy said, looking curiously at the large envelope. She picked it from the table and looked it over. It seemed like your average 10"x13" envelope, looked official, too, and she could tell there wasn't much in it. What was strange was that it was for Faith. The main reason Faith never checked the mail was because there was no one in this world to send her a letter.

"Probably junk," Faith said, looking at the paused movie on screen. "Hurry up so we can finish this. I'm only watching this for you and it's long as hell."

"Of course, Titanic's long. It's James Cameron. And this looks official, baby. I don't think it's junk."

"Well, it's even longer, because I wanna put in Terminator. When I said James Cameron marathon, I didn't think you'd make me watch Titanic. And just bring it over then."

Buffy returned to the living room, still looking at the envelope. She sat down on the edge of the couch. Faith glanced at her.

"Of course I'd make you watch Titanic. It's one of the most epic romances ever."

"Yeah, whatever." Buffy handed the envelope to Faith who immediately opened it. She pulled out several sheets of paper and read over the first two. Her girlfriend watched intently, curious as to what was in it. The brunette reached in again, pulling out an average sized envelope. She quickly dropped everything back into it. "Trash it. It's junk."

"Junk?" Buffy said, taking the envelope. "I can't believe that." The blonde took the documents out of the envelope and read them.

"B," Faith sighed.

"These are letters from the government, saying that you have an inheritance from your father and Professor Dormer," Buffy said quite monotonously, still reading. Faith sighed again, looking toward the back of the couch. "Did you know this?"

Faith nodded. She had found out while in Boston. The house had had all of her former Watcher's possessions in it as well as some of Faith's old things. Her former sensei had informed her of the news as well as of her father's death. She just chose to ignore it all.

"Why didn't you tell me? Better yet, why didn't you get it settled?" Buffy asked, looking back at her. Faith sighed again, shrugging.

"I don't want it. I didn't know my dad until I was 18 and I thought he was dead until then. He was in jail. I doubt there's anything worth claiming. And the professor-" Faith paused. She swallowed down her emotions. She had to appear strong. It had been years since that fateful night. There was no use in crying over it. "I don't deserve anything she has to give me."

"That's not true. She felt you deserved what she left you. Which looks like quite a bit. Her whole estate in Boston. If you're not gonna use it, the Slayers could. Training grounds, a base. We could use the space and the books since we lost the Watchers' Council."

Faith nodded.

"Take it. No problem. I'm not going back to Massachusetts. Not again." Faith looked at Buffy with puppy dog brown eyes. "I'm not going anywhere." Buffy smiled softly, caressing Faith's cheek.

"I know," she whispered. She looked back at the envelope, placing Dormer's will back in. She pulled out the smaller envelope, reading the writing on the front. It simply read Faith, but a lot could be seen in the handwriting. The messiness that usually came with the handwriting of a man, but it was also shaky. The man was suffering when he wrote this. "Please read it," Buffy said sadly. She held the letter out to her lover. Faith looked at the plain envelope, almost glaring. She shook her head. "Faith, please." Her voice cracked slightly, causing Faith's brow to knit together inquisitively. "I would give anything to get in contact with my dad. Yours left you a message. Please. For me."

Faith sighed. She didn't want to disappoint her girlfriend. She'd already been gone for weeks. For now, pleasing Buffy was the best thing to do and was Faith's top priority. So, she took the white envelope and tore it open. She pulled out the letter and unfolded it slowly. She didn't give Buffy the satisfaction of reading it out loud, though.

The blonde watched her intently, curious, but she knew she shouldn't pry. Several times, though, she noticed that Faith closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She was pretty sure her eyes were watering up, too. Tears.

Faith got up when she finished reading.

"Like I said, junk." She pulled her lighter out of her jeans pocket and held it up, flipping it open. Buffy immediately stood and grabbed her elbow lightly. The brunette sighed, being turned toward her lover. Buffy noticed a tear escape from her eye which shocked her. She quickly wiped it away.

"Hey. What is it?" Buffy said gently, grabbing the brunette's shoulders. Faith pulled out of her grip, backing up until she hit the wall.

"I'm a horrible daughter," she squeaked, sliding down. She sniffled, bowing her head in order to hide her face. She was ashamed. Not only because she was crying, but because of what she had said. She buried her face in her knees, wrapping her arms around them as she dropped the letter. "I knew he was alive and I never saw him. Not once in nearly a decade. I didn't want to, I didn't want to hear him. I just wanted to hate him and my mom for everything!"

Buffy stared at her as she ranted. Soon she realized that she couldn't just stand there, though, and that she needed to comfort the girl who was breaking in front of her.

"And yeah, they deserved it. My mother just didn't care or whatever. Made me look out for myself and her. Sent me around to different relatives, because she couldn't stay out of jail. Dated horrible men who tried to screw me more than her." Buffy's eyes widened at the statement, stopping her approach. "And my dad was a low life who gambled, drank, and did drugs. No wonder mom wanted me to think he was dead. I'm not even sure if I can say that's the only good thing she's done for me in my life.

"All they wanted was for me to be their saving grace, a way to shine their rusty halos! Look at me. I became just like them. A murderer like my father, going to jail like both of them. But at least they weren't diagnosed as being crazy." Faith stopped there, her tears taking over. There were even a few sobs. Buffy knelt down next to her, placing a hand on the girl's shoulder.

"Faith?"

"They're dead. Both of them are dead and I didn't go to the funeral for either of them. I just bailed on my mom's and my dad… I would've bailed on him, too. Not like I knew 'im or nothin'." Buffy rubbed her back, trying to comfort the brunette. "He asked for my forgiveness and I lied. I told him I did, but deep down, I was cursing him. I hated him and he was so upset that he had nothing to give me, but he left me something that I will always remember."

"And what's that?" Buffy whispered, wrapping her arms around Faith. The brunette paused, silence taking over the room except her small tremors of melancholy.

"Five by five." Faith shook a few more times with quiet sobs. "He said to me and taught me what it meant. And I took it with me… I've tried for so long not to become like my parents and I failed."

"No, you didn't," Buffy said immediately. "You're redeeming yourself. You're making up for what you've done. You have been dying to gain a new soul and you've done it. You spent time in jail. You saved Angel's soul. You've taught me how to completely give myself to another person." Faith looked up at her with red, puffy eyes inquisitively. "You taught me that my gift isn't only death. I can give love, too," Buffy whispered.

"I lied to him, Buffy. The one time I met him, I lied to him. My halo is just as rusty as his was."

"Then shine it. There's still time to forgive him."

Faith stared at her with emotion Buffy couldn't even pinpoint. There was so much in her eyes, too much to read, but she could see the pain. Faith was dying on the inside from this, from something that had happened so many years ago. It was obvious that this was bound to happen. It'd been a long time coming. She'd been running from this and had never known when it was coming to catch her.

"Let go," Buffy whispered. Faith glanced down at the hardwood floor, unsure of what to do next. Her mind didn't seem capable of comprehensible thought. But then three words escaped her lips, quiet as a soft wind.

"I forgive him."


	8. Science & Faith

**Science & Faith**

"I'm just saying it's interesting," Faith commented, looking at her deal of cards. Across from her sat Xander with his own deal while Kennedy sat at the head of the table. Buffy was sitting next to Faith, writing out a grocery list for the house, Willow across from her, studying the game of Poker at hand. Some of the Potentials were out and about in the city. Only a handful was hanging around the house, mainly in the basement training. "I mean, has anybody actually sat down and tried to think this through? Science isn't my strong suit, but could it explain it?"

"I dunno, Faith. We're dealing with subjects of the heart," Xander replied nonchalantly. He placed two cards faced down on the table and knocked on them with a knuckle. Faith dealt him two new cards, placing his old ones in the graveyard pile. "I think it's much more complex than science."

"Yeah, it's complicated," Kennedy replied in a similar tone, her calculating eyes skimming her cards. She placed one down and did the same as her male friend, causing Faith to slide over a new card. Faith looked at her own cards again.

"I know, but come on. They say emotion is technically controlled by the brain. Love is an emotion; therefore it must be a function of the brain. A member of its little emotional mafia, meant to drive us mad."

"Wow, Faith. Is that really how you feel about it?" Buffy chimed, scribbling a new item down. Faith gave a short glanced to her blonde girlfriend. She shrugged.

"Not sure. I'm just saying, maybe it's a chemical imbalance or somethin'." She paused, her eyes lighting up. "Or let's think of it this way. Our senses are all just electrical senses sent to our brains, right? Maybe love is the same. So let's say I have that emotional section of brain taken out. The hippo-camel or whatever."

"The hippocampus and amygdala," Willow corrected.

"Yeah, those. Let's say they're gone. Would I still be able to feel love for a person? Is it love?"

"Does it matter?" Buffy said, putting down her pen. She turned her head, looking at the other Slayer. Faith gave a simple shrug, not looking back at her girlfriend. Buffy rolled her eyes and stood up from the table. The small group looked up at her, seeing as she'd cause quite an audible ruckus. "I'm going to the store. Be back later." She picked up her list rather roughly before leaving.

"Is it just me or is Buff a bit hostile all of a sudden?" Xander asked once the blonde had left the house.

"I think I struck a nerve," Faith noted with a sigh. She placed her cards down and pushed her chair, which let out a loud screech. She jogged to the front door and opened it, following her girlfriend out. "Buffy!"

"Don't bother," Buffy replied, not even turning toward the brunette. She opened the door to her car and got in. Faith paused, watching her, eyebrows raising. She glanced back at the house before looking back at Buffy who was starting the car.

"You're," the brunette paused, "going to drive?" She didn't notice the blonde roll her eyes. Buffy's head snapped in her direction soon after, though, and Faith could see the fire in her green eyes. The Dark Slayer took a step back.

"Don't test me right now, Faith," the older Slayer growled.

"You're mad about what I said? It was only an observation."

"Whatever, Faith."

Buffy pulled the car out of the driveway before switching gears and driving down the street.

* * *

><p>"<em>If you wanna go and take a ride with me, we three-wheelin in the fo' with the gold D's! Oh, why do I live this way? Hey, must be the money!<em>" Faith and Kennedy shouted as they sauntered up to the front door. They laughed hysterically, finding just about anything funny in their tipsy daze. They stumbled a bit, nearly tripping over each other's feet. Xander walked behind them, the designated driver, finding their behavior amusing if not worrisome.

After Buffy had gone to the store, Faith had figured it'd be best she leave to give Buffy her space. So, she and her poker buddies decided it'd be fun to hit a local bar that was open in the middle of the day. A few hours and drinks later and here they were, heading back to the Scooby/Slayer house. A mad house if there ever was one.

"Xander, you gotta listen to more rap, man," Faith said with a laugh as Xander moved in front of them. He placed his house key in the door knob and turned it.

"I'll be sure to do that," Xander said, opening the door. The trio was greeted by loud pop music and singing Slayers. The three cocked an eyebrow as several potentials danced and sang past them. "Is it just me or are they all wearing less clothing than usual."

"Less, yes, but still clothed. They've at least got shorts and shirts on," Kennedy deadpanned as they walked further in. "You know, I'm usually not into this kind of music, but Christina Aguilera getting 'dirrty' is a lovely image."

Andrew came walking past from the kitchen, video camera in hand. Faith grabbed him by the collar, mid-lyric. He paused his singing, looking at the Rogue Slayer.

"Andrew, what's going on?" she asked him.

"Oh, well, Buffy and Willow decided we need to have a little fun and seeing as some of the girls are too young to go clubbing, we figured we'd blast our own music," Andrew explained. Faith quirked an eyebrow before letting him go and leading her two companions into the living room where Dawn, Buffy, Willow, Rona, Chao-An, and a few others were dancing. It might as well have been a club. It was only missing the flashing lights and more space.

Faith's eyes landed on Buffy, who was dancing with Willow. Well, that just wouldn't do. No one danced with Buffy like that, but her.

The Dark Slayer approached the couple of friends and tapped Willow's shoulder.

"Excuse me, I think I need to cut in. Besides, there's someone that needs a dance." She gestured over her shoulder at Kennedy, who was watching the scene in confusion. Willow laughed, seeing her girlfriend's face, deciding that Faith indeed correct. She released her best friend's hand and went Kennedy who was still in an utter state of shock. Faith glanced back at them, seeing that Xander had disappeared from behind Kennedy to dance with the more legal Potentials.

Faith returned her gaze to Buffy, a smirk on her face. She shrugged casually, looking the blonde over.

"You went all out on the home club thing," Faith said, grabbing the tips of Buffy's fingers. She lifted the other Slayer's arm, gesturing for her to spin. Buffy gave a small smile before giving a slow turn fore Faith's pleasure. The brunette cocked an eyebrow with intrigue, observing her outfit. The ripped jeans and the sleeveless black top. "Is your top see-through?" Buffy nodded slowly. "Ooh. Permission to come aboard, captain?"

"Maybe later," Buffy chuckled. "Not while everyone's around." She interlaced her fingers with Faith's before turning her back to the brunette. Bodies pressed together, Buffy began moving to the beat. Faith bobbed her head for a moment before joining in the movements. The blonde smiled, glancing back at the other Slayer.

"Looks like Buffy's cooled out a bit," Kennedy said to Willow. The red-head looked over at the other couple and chuckled. She shrugged.

"I guess so. Looks like they plan on showing us up," Willow replied, smiling at the younger girl. Kennedy scoffed.

"Have you met Buffy and Faith? Those two show up everybody. I guess it was a return for having to save the world. The Powers gave them amazing chemistry." Willow laughed, shoving Kennedy's shoulder. "Besides, you're the one who said dancing is Buffy and Faith's specialty. I see why."

The Slayer couple was gaining quite a bit of attention from others. Sure, the Potentials were still dancing, but occasionally looked towards their leaders. The master Slayers danced as if they were one person, knowing each other move for move. The students always commented on how their sparring was like dancing, how they complemented each other. Now they were actually dancing, magnetized to one another. Their left hands were intertwined, Faith's free hand on the blonde's hip, Buffy's free hand on the Dark Slayer's lower back, pressing the other closer… if that was possible.

"Babe?" Buffy said, looking back at Faith. The brunette's response was muffled and utterly distracted, but she was listening. "I think we need to go upstairs."

"If you want," Faith said, still unfocused. Buffy chuckled, pulling her through the small crowd of girls and leading her upstairs.

"Hey, don't stay up there too long!" one of the Potentials shouted. Buffy rolled her eyes, a riot of laughter rising from downstairs. She opened the door to their room and pushed Faith in. Faith had to stop herself from tripping while turning to face Buffy.

"Whoa, aggressive much?" Faith asked, approaching the Chosen One. Once the door was closed, Buffy turned to her and the brunette pressed her to the door. The blonde pulled her head back as far as she could as Faith leaned in. She pressed a finger to her lips.

"Uh-uh. Not what we're here for." Faith cocked an eyebrow in confusion. "You upset me earlier."

"Oh, right. I thought you were over that," the Rogue said, taking a few steps back. She pointed to the floor, acknowledging their recent dance.

"Not exactly," Buffy said softly. Faith nodded. "Did you mean that stuff? Earlier?"

"Babe, it's just random thoughts of a fucked up mind. You should know that. I don't know if it's true or not. If it's rational. But it would be nice to know."

"What would it change?" Buffy asked.

"I would just like to understand. What makes us feel this way for someone? I spent years trying to gain love. Now I just want to understand it. There must be a science behind it."

"Yes, because there's a science for everything," Buffy said sarcastically. Yeah, she was definitely upset. "Faith," she took the other woman's hands, "You won't find faith or hope down a telescope. You won't find heart and soul in the stars. You can break everything down to chemicals, but you can't explain a love like ours. You'll never be able to do that. It just doesn't work that way. Love," she paused, "It's just the way we feel. And I can tell you that my feelings for you are so real."

Faith smiled and nodded. She'd never been one of scientific mind. Logic, reason, stuff like that, it never worked out for her. She lived on the wild side. She lived on raw emotion and passion. So, Buffy's explanation… it worked perfectly. It was what Faith was all about.

"That works for me," Faith replied with a smile. "That explanation eases my mind. And, for the record, I am madly in love with you, Buffy Summers."

**A/N: Not my best chapter. Next chapter should be much better. I've had it in mind for months.**


	9. Exit Wounds

**Exit Wound**

"There you are," Buffy said, approaching Faith. She shrugged her carry on bag further onto her shoulder as she walked. Faith stuffed her hands in her pockets, glancing down at the floor of the terminal. Her lips moved discreetly, almost imperceptibly. She bit the inside of her bottom lip before looking back up at Buffy, who had finally reached her. The blonde hugged her tightly. "Come on. They're boarding. Our potentials and the others are getting on."

Buffy attempted to pull Faith along, but the Dark Slayer held her place.

"B, I need to tell you something," Faith said softly, eyes stern, begging Buffy to wait a moment. Buffy still wore a bright smile on her face.

"Well, we have a seven and a half hour flight. We'll have enough time to talk," Buffy said. She tried to pull Faith away again, but the other Slayer lifted her hand out of her pocket to grab Buffy's. She tugged, forcing the blonde to turn to her.

"Buffy," Faith said sternly. Buffy's smile faded, eyebrows furrowing. It was strange for Faith to call her by her complete name. It always meant something serious was going on and that wasn't good, seeing as they were about to leave for Scotland in a matter of minutes.

The blonde took a few steps closer to her.

"What? What's going on?" Faith sighed. She looked back at the floor and around the terminal. She released a deep breath. "Faith?"

"I'm not going," Faith murmured. Buffy's brow furrowed even more. She hadn't heard that right. Faith had mumbled, so maybe she'd just misheard her. There was no way Faith was backing out. This was the plan. It had been the plan for months now. Giles had arranged everything and Buffy and Faith had been involved in the planning.

"What?" Buffy only managed to whisper it, but Faith heard her clear as day.

"I'm not going to Scotland."

Buffy swallowed hard. Her hands suddenly felt ice cold. Her body was numb with shock. Her head pounded from the news and tears blurred her vision. Faith seemed to continue to speak, but Buffy didn't hear a word. What was going on? What was Faith doing? She didn't understand.

"You're what?"

"I'm sorry, B," Faith said, reaching for Buffy's arm, but the blonde drew back as if the Dark Slayer's touch was a flame. Faith retracted her hand, taking the hint. Buffy was in too much shock to want to be touched. At least, not by her. "I thought it over and I'm just not ready. I think I still have some work to do here."

"But we planned this. For months. You told Kenny-"

"I know. And I'm sorry, B. I just," Faith paused, "can't." She saw the tear fall from her lover's eye and took a step closer toward her. She didn't care if Buffy didn't want to be touched. She grabbed Buffy's face and wiped the tear away. "I love you. You know that, Buffy."

Realization flashed across the blonde's eyes at Faith's words. She looked up to meet the brunette's bright brown eyes.

"If you're not in Scotland, then we're not together. We can't be."

Faith nodded.

"I know."

"Faith, don't. Don't do this."

"I'm sorry, B. Me in Scotland… it's not meant to be right now," Faith said, pulling away from her. She took a few steps back.

"Faith, please-"

"I can't." Faith shook her head and turned, leaving the airport terminal. Buffy let a few tears fall, her throat aching from withholding her emotions. She took a few moments and wiped her tears away before going to board the flight. It felt as if she'd been shot. In fact, she almost checked for an exit wound. Was there an emergency room nearby, because Faith's bullet of truth had ricocheted and left a hole?

She kept her head bowed even as she took a seat next to Willow, who seemed excited about the trip. However, the redhead's smile fell, seeing her friend's reserved state and no Faith.

"Buffy, what's wrong? Where's Faith?" Willow asked, concerned. Buffy looked at her, green eyes going bloodshot. Willow felt her heart shatter for her friend. She knew what words came next, but still let Buffy say them aloud. Let the impact hit her. Let the future scars set on her heart.

"She's not coming," Buffy said, squeaking and whispering. Willow leaned over and gave her best friend a hug, letting the blonde quietly sob against her chest. This caught Kennedy's attention across the aisle and she already knew the problem. She averted the gazes of the other Potentials, allowing their leader Slayer the privacy she needed.

Outside in the parking lot, Faith leaned against Wood's car. She stared at the plane she was meant to be on. A cigarette was placed between her lips, quickly burning up in Faith's emotional state. Wood watched her, hunched over the roof of the car. Faith's eyes never left the plane as she flicked the ashes off the end of her cigarette. She let out a small sigh.

"You're sure you wanna do this?" Wood asked, breaking their long silence. Faith was nonresponsive for a long while, choosing to focus on the plane and her cigarette. She had known that this would be hard. Being Faith, though, she hadn't expected to have such an emotional attachment to the other Slayer. In other words, she never expected her feelings to be so strong. Yet, here she was, feeling heartless. She felt bad. She had pulled the trigger on a poor, unsuspecting Buffy. On the love of her life. But Buffy would move on. She always did… that's what Faith told herself.

"Yeah, I'm sure," Faith said in a low voice. She watched as the plane began its travel down the runway. It was too late to take back her choice. That was why she'd waited until now to tell Buffy. She knew the blonde would convince her to go if she'd told her the truth any earlier. She hated that it had to happen this way, though.

"You really love her, huh?" Wood asked. Faith was quiet again. She flicked her cigarette to the ground before turning and going to the passenger door.

"Let's go," she said, getting in the car. And she listened to the plane take off behind her. Faith had no heart. It was aboard that plane, flying toward Scotland.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Sorry for the delay. School has been hectic. I've been dying to write this chapter for a year!**


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